Reflections...

Now that I am finally done with classes, papers, and, well, my entire college career (!) I´ve had some time to reflect on Nicaragua. I´ve realized that I´ve learned quite a bit about myself here, especially from some unlikely people.

For starters, I will miss my host grandpa, Raul (the crazy old man of previous blogs´ fame). Despite the fact that we never really understand each other ( a combination of my accent and his hearing, I suppose), we have become, as he told me today with slightly teary eyes "muy buenos amigos." Somewhere in the past four months, in between me running in and out of the house and him yelling indecipherable phrases while making the "hang loose" sign at me, I have come to really admire his calm, perseverant spirit. When my host mom (his sister) is cranky with him (which happens a lot), he has a way of taking it in stride, nodding his head, smiling, and often waiting until she turns her back to make a funny face at me which says "I´m not going to let that bother me." I laugh and make one back that says "I get you." It´s a shared little secret language we have which is rather funny. Not that my host mom is a witch or anything. She just has her moments when she´s rather high strung. There will always be people like that around us, and Raul has taught me how to laugh it off and keep on living your life.

On that same subject, I think I have developed my own spirit of perseverance and been forced to be really proactive in my life at times when I wasn´t quite sure where to turn for support. Through the challenge of navegating the UNAN´s academic system, making friends, improving my Spanish, learning the quirks of my host family, getting robbed, and getting to know a new city, I figured out ways to rely on God and my past experiences to get by.

I´ve been touched by the openness of my Nicaraguan classmates who became acquaintances and friends. It has caused me to question my own hesitancy to reach out to people sometimes, and to get close to people. Even though none of them will be my best friend forever, they accepted me like one of their own and are even planning a goodbye party for me. When I get back to the states I will be a lot more conscious of the experience of international students and immigrants in my midst.

Some of the best conversations I´ve had have been with taxi drivers. They are so open to talking about their life, family, political views, and experiences as taxi drivers. I will miss out on that opportunity in the States, I think I can continue the habit of trying to learn something from every stranger I encounter.

I have experienced more first hand the effects of poverty and underdevelopment. At one point in my life I thought of poverty only as the absence of material things. Some time ago I came to realize that poverty is not only not having a TV, house, or food; it´s also missed experiences, lack of opportunity, and inconveniences in daily life. Living in Managua has given me the chance to understand that firsthand. Even though I am fairly frugal, I did not live like a poor person here. I traveled on weekends, went out to bars and concerts, and used the internet whenever I pleased. Lots of my friends at school have not seen half of what I´ve seen in Nicaragua. They´ve barely left their cities because traveling takes money, and even going out at night involves a couple of cab rides. They miss out on things they should be able to enjoy, because they just don´t have the resources. As much as I may pride myself in living simply because I don´t buy fancy electronics, I am privileged to be experiencing so much.

I´ve become more patriotic while I´ve been here, despite some professors´attempts at the opposite. In spite of everything, there are wonderful things about living in a country that is relatively safe, clean, and just. I will tell people that they can argue with me, or you can also go live in the developing world for awhile and tell me how that goes.

My cyber cafe time is about to expire, so I will sign off for now. Check back soon for more updates. Lots of love!